Losing Someone You Love

It is never easy when someone you love dies. It is especially difficult to watch them suffer a protracted illness, such as cancer. But if you are a member of the cancer community, chances are you have lost at least one person that you love.

Those of you who have read this blog before know that I lost a very dear friend not too long ago. I met Melissa through a support group on Facebook for women with cervical cancer, and we immediately hit it off. We developed a friendship outside of the group. I was there the night she married her long time fiancé, Ed, and it was one of the most joyous occasions of my life. We spoke almost daily, sometimes in the middle of the night when either of us needed a good cry. We laughed together, loved each other deeply. She was the sister I never had.

Melissa never reached her goal of being NED. Her cancer metastasized, until her body couldn’t take it any more. On November 17, Melissa won her battle in this life, and moved on to a better place. She is now my guardian angel, watching over me.

I have seen too many women die, young women, from this disease. Since a lot of the symptoms for cervical cancer are so ambiguous, it doesn’t immediately cross doctor’s minds until it is too late.

The death of a loved one is devastating. Watching someone you love is absolute torture. And cancer is a bitch. You can do every treatment recommended and available to you, and for some it just doesn’t work. The cancer keeps growing and growing.

When Melissa died, I didn’t want to get close to anyone going through cancer. I didn’t want to hurt like that again. But there are people that I have come to love who are still sick, and despite my fear, I have found myself caring for them deeply. I pray every day that they will go into remission, but I know that even if I lose them too, I won’t regret it. Even though I lost Melissa, I never for a second have regretted my friendship with her. She brought so much joy into my life, and I know that these other women do too.

When you lose a loved one, the best thing that you can do is honoring them by remembering them. Do something special in their honor. Yes, there will be grief. There will be times when the thought of their death will hit you like a wrecking ball. But when you truly love someone, they are never gone from your heart.

xoxo Jennie