Happy Birthday to Me

All Dressed Up

Today I am 36 years old. I am on the backside of 30, definitely no longer young and hip. I have a husband, 3 sons, 2 dogs, and a real grown up house. Sometimes I can’t begin to imagine how I got here. I feel like Alice, as if I fell down the rabbit hole, and woke up in a land of dirty dishes, and smelly teenagers, and watching HGTV every night.

But I’m happy.

Last year I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday. 35 was soooooo old. I was mourning my 20’s, or even my early 30’s, but 35? Well, just buy me some support hose and orthopedic shoes as presents, because I obviously need them.

Last year, Jeff twisted my arm into going out to dinner. I barely got dressed. I think I wore Uggs. I wore no makeup (even though I wear no makeup in my daily life, I do when I’m going out). Honestly, I don’t remember if we had cake.

This year is different. My priorities have changed. You’d think that having beaten cancer, my priorities would have been a little bit more on track last year, but what can I say, I can be really superficial.

Princess Complex

This year I am grateful to be turning 36, because I know women who won’t make it to their next birthday. When I lost my cancer bestie in November, it felt like the world had stopped. But I know that she’s looking down on me, full drill sergeant voice, telling me if I don’t celebrate like a damn princess she will haunt my ass for eternity. And we all know it’s better to not piss her off.

All My Boys

So I’m celebrating for my friends. I’m celebrating for my family, who I’m sure sometimes still worry about losing me. I’m celebrating for my husband, who I know still worries, even though he puts on a brave face every day and tells me that I am just fine and am going to stay that way. I’m celebrating for my boys – I have so many years left to embarrass them! But most of all I am celebrating for myself, because I made it through what could have been a death sentence, and I feel like I have a second chance at life.

I have a ton of grey hair. I have crow’s feet. My body is lumpy and middle-aged. But I am here. I am the birthday girl. And I am still standing.

xoxoxoxo jennie