I still live with worry: worry that it will come back; worry that my friends will have recurrences; worry that more of my friends will die. But I don't actively live in fear of those things, or I would drive myself crazy.
Despite what you may think, there are some positive things that have come from me having cancer.
I live more fully in the moment
I try to avoid anger
I'm doing advocacy work for cervical cancer, HPV, and Gardasil, the HPV vaccine
Since I was given a reprieve from this horrible disease, I feel an overwhelming urge to help other women navigate through this disease.
Not long ago, I participated in a Vision Board party. A vision board, who those that don't know, is when you take a large piece paper (poster beard works best), find key phrases from magazines, and get to work! The goal of having a vision board is the it helps you focus you goals for the coming year. And of course, mine was all about advocacy!
My goals for this year are to reach out to as many women as possible about HPV and cervical cancer. I want to help women who are also going through the sames things I went through, as well as to prevent as many as possible from having cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is almost 100% preventable. That's huge, not just as a number, but in the fact that that isn't something that can be said about any other cancer.
A few weeks ago, a women got in touch with me via Facebook because her daughter had recently diagnosed with HPV, and she couldn't get a hold of Tamika, the founder of Cervivor, and which I am an Ambassador of. I was able to answer to answer the mother's questions, allay her fears. I also told her that her daughter should have a complete Pap smear done, in addition to the pelvic exam that had initially been done.
Just today, I got a voicemail from a friend. She had reached out to me months ago because she was overdue for a mammogram, and was afraid to go, as breast cancer runs in her family. Breast cancer is not my area of expertise, but some things, like fear, are universal. I talked (and talked and talked and talked) her through it, and when she went, she called me so proud of herself for having gone. The call from her today was to say that she see women reaching out to me for advice on HPV, cancer, and women's health, and how proud she was of me. That made me feel great, not because she was praising me, but because I'm doing what I feel like I was meant to do. I feel like I have a purpose.
It makes me so happy to have conversations like that, or to hear from my friends posting on my Facebook wall that they've had their Pap smears. Kudos ladies, kudos.
Thank you for reading along on this blog. When I started it, it was part of my therapy. I needed an outlet for what I was feeling, because in a lot of ways I still felt all alone. I hope that you've enjoy what you read, learn a thing or two, and not feel like you are the only one going through HPV or cervical cancer. I hope you'll keep coming back. If you have questions, you can always private message me on the My Life After Cervical Cancer Facebook page, or on my personal Facebook page, Jennie Elms. I'm also on Instagram (@jenelms) and Twitter (@jennie_elms). I will always do my best to answer your questions, and if I can't answer them, I have a lot of resources that I can go to to find the answers you need. I'm constantly amazed that my little side project has reached so many, and I hope to continue to reach as many as possible.
xoxo Jennie
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