Cervivor School Charleston Recap - Arrival Day

Back in September, I went to San Diego to Cervivor School. It was an incredible experience, but afterwards I realized that I did not get as much out of it as I could have. Yes, I attended the mixer (and even made a new friend, hi Melissa!), and all the sessions, the group dinner, and the graduation ceremony where the attendees become Cervivor Ambassadors. But I kept pretty much to myself. I didn’t embrace the social aspect, the sisterhood, which comes with the experience.

The reason for this was exactly what my last post was about: anxiety.

As I talked about, I suffered from anxiety before I was diagnosed with cancer. My anxiety falls mainly into two categories, general anxiety and social anxiety. The social anxiety held me back in San Diego.

Even though I missed out on forming bonds in person with the other women there, we all connected on social media, mostly through a private Facebook group for women who have attended Cervivor School, and then shifting to becoming Facebook friends outside of that group. That was where I really started to get a taste of the Cervivor sisterhood.

The main thing that Cervivor School did for me was give me some direction of what my life post-cancer was going to be like. Cervivor School taught me about advocacy, and how I could be an advocate. I was already doing some advocacy. I had started this blog, and I got involved with the Foundation for Women’s Cancer by participating in The National Race to End Women’s Cancer (see here and here). I left San Diego wanting to do MORE. I wanted to help educate women. I wanted to talk about prevention, so that no more women would have to be diagnosed with cervical cancer. I wanted to take action.

Since I now had the inside track as a Cervivor Ambassador, I found out early about when and where the next Cervivor School would be: Charleston, SC from January 28 to the 31^st, 2016. I signed up immediately. Two of my Cervivor sisters and dear friends, Erica and Marie, would be there as well. I was so excited to spend time with these two women, to meet some other Cervivor sisters that I knew online but had never met in person, and to meet the women who would be attending for the first time.

One of the areas where my anxiety manifests itself the most is if I have to travel by plane alone. So I was up early the Thursday morning I left for Charleston, pounding coffee like crazy. When I got to the first TSA checkpoint and had to hold up my driver’s license, my hand was shaking so bad from the brilliant combination of nerves and caffeine that I was sure the TSA agent was going to escort me into a small room for a friendly interrogation. Fortunately I made it through, to the gate, and on to the plane without incident.

I checked into the hotel with about three hours to spare before the getting acquainted mixer. I went to my room to unpack and decompress. Erica was going to be rooming with me, but she wasn’t arriving until the following morning, so I spent some time laying down and reading. Before I knew it, six o’clock had arrived, and it was time to head downstairs to meet everyone for the first time.

I walked into the room, and saw two people I knew – Iman, who works for Cervivor, and Brianna, who does almost all the video and still photography. I said hi to them, and headed to the bar. And I sat down by a woman I had never met (hi Vanessa!) and introduced myself.

The whole night was like that. I was able to overcome my social anxiety enough to talk to women one on one, and to speak when we sat down in a group for a while so Tamika could do the official welcome and overview of the weekend. I kind of felt like I couldn’t shut up… And it was great!

I went to bed that night knowing that my experience this time at Cervivor School would be different because I was going to make it different. I wanted to experience the sisterhood right away, not in the weeks and months that followed as I finally worked up the courage to get to know my Cervivor sisters on a deeper level.

Stay tuned for more…

 xoxo Jennie